Wednesday, April 11, 2012

All in due time. Breathe in. All in due time. Breathe out. Now smile :)

So as some of you may know I'm doing a hot yoga 30 day challenge at Yoga to the People here in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. I'm learning so many great things about myself and being faced with life changing revelations in my daily practice. "Practice" that's an awesome word and we are reminded everyday by our gracious teacher that this is indeed a practice not a perfect. Each day our bodies and our minds function differently. Leave the judgement behind and open up to compassion for ourselves. I love this--it really resonates with me.

Learning to love myself--even my crazy hair!
It's an hour and half in a 105 degree room. I started off the first few days in a t-shirt and shorts and soon got over that--now small bike shorts and bra top. Seeing my body in front of a mirror wearing as little as possible everyday has connected me with my physical self. To be honest I never really looked at my body for more that a few minutes a day after my shower and then clothes were on as soon as possible. In the first few days of my practice I was critical of my physical self. I seemed to notice my belly fat or that my thighs we too thick. Me! I thought I had such a good body image! Compared to a few years ago well yes, but life has this fantastic way of presenting you with the changes and growth you need to move you along your path. So as the days went by and the more classes I attended I started to recite this mantra, "All in due time." I felt that my body and mind would improve as I desired if I only opened myself up to release all those things blocking me, things I thought were there to protect me. Judgement toward myself was a tool I used to be perfect. Well try anyway. If I had perfect skin, perfect hair, the perfect wardrobe, etc. then I would be loved. This is rooted back in my childhood fears of abandonment and feeling as if I wasn't good enough. Wow!!! All those old programs I shoved deep down in the basement were showing their face in this daily practice! Rather than push it away I kept telling myself to bring it on, show me the changes I must make in my life to bring me further down my path, to heal, and open my heart.

Today I celebrated my 22nd day of hot yoga in a row and I think I'm going to keep going! No alcohol, eating only raw foods, and spending time making loving choices just for Me--this was my plan for the 30 day challenge. How am I feeling? Well at first I admit, I was very tired as it was a lot of work for me and I never made that sort of commitment to myself but after the first 2 weeks I really noticed my strength had increased and my emotions were totally under control. I didn't even get PMS--awesome! I love myself, my time, my energy, and my body.

All in due time. Breathe in. All in due time. Breathe out. Now smile. I am walking down a lovely path full of blooming opportunities and so much self love.

I leave you with a quote I heard in yoga class a couple days ago. This was just what I needed:

"Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it."

Thank you Rumi.

xoxoxc

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